Continuous Learning

I recently spoke with a friend who said that she has no real passion in life. She feels that work is all there is, and there is nothing that she cares about, and that she rather works on community services instead. Having worked in the same line of work as she did before, I know what she’s talking about. In the consulting business, while it might seem glamorous from outside, the truth is that it takes a special type of people to really love meeting impossible and contradictory demands time after time from your boss as well as clients.

However, when she started to talk about community service, she switched into a different mode. Her eyes light up, her speech rate is faster and voice elevated, and she gets a lot more animated. Without missing a beat, she went on and tell me about the latest mentoring program that they have for youth, and how it focuses on providing kids with multiple role models to offset the challenges of having only a couple of role models that might disappear later, and that the program shows high promises than other mentoring models. She practically becomes a different person. Right there and then, she just found her passion - volunteering.

Without a doubt in my mind, passion is one of the strongest indicators for future success. Most people in this world are living in the rat race, without realizing that while the rat race provides a paycheck, it sucked away a bigger part of ourselves - our spirit. Most of us grow up having a dream - we want to be someone and do something. Whether it is being an astronaut, doctor, fire fighter, police, etc., all of us once thought that we could be anything we want to be. Look at any child’s eyes and ask the question - “what do you want to be when you grow up”, and you will realize that dream is the energy source of the future.

Unfortunately, for most of us we also grow up losing the dreams. Instead of keeping the dreams up, we give in to the life’s demand. Children become students and have to give in to studies; adults give in to having to earn a living. And a big part of life keeps telling us that we are just not good enough, and that we will never amount to anything. For most of us, the flame is extinguished. And of course, our work and study are dull. We can’t see a reason why we like doing it, except for people telling us we have to do it in order to keep our food on the table.

Just who likes living that way? Who can live that way without feeling dejected about the future prospect? I don’t know, but I don’t think I am cut out for it either.

Instead of true passion, the passion that people seem to have these days are entertainments.

Try an experiment - ask someone, “what would you do if you have a million dollars and do not have to work?”

The first answer is generally something toward entertainment. “Oh I will go and travel around the world”, “I can go ski all day long”, “I love go sing”, “I want to experience more things”, etc. These are the run-of-mills answers that basically imply that people feel they are being overworked and they lack time to recuperate (my own answer is “I want to sleep”).

Of course, these are not the real answer and not the real passion. See, it is easy to have fun, and all of us want to have fun. However, as humans we are “relative” beings. After prolonged exposure and experiences, we lose the sense of freshness. If we are having fun all the time, we will get bored, and what we did is not so fun anymore. That’s why kids and students are looking for thrills - they are bored.

When someone says, “I can ski on and on without feeling bored” - that’s true up to a point. It depends on what exactly is “on and on”. For example, people probably can ski for days without feeling routine, if they are 1) ski and stop whenever they feel like it, and 2) without people telling them what they should be improving on, and 3) their livelihood is not dependent on it. In other words, while they can last for a few weeks in Tahoe or Aspen, and even probably working as ski instructors over summer time, they probably cannot make a career out of it, either becoming athletes or professionals.

(now - there are of course people who are truly passionate about skiing - this article is not about them - they’ve found their true passion)

The truth is, for most of us who did not make a passion out of entertainment and recreations, it is because we simply are not passionate enough to overcome the associated challenges. For most of us, these activities are fun when we can perform them when we want to (and not), but stops being fun when we have to. It becomes even worse when we have to compete, and entertain the possibility of losing.

The athletes and entertainers are prime examples. Most if not all of them have to endure hardships and trainings. Many actors are known to work regular day jobs and find small acting gigs to keep themselves in the game hoping to one day make it big. All endures extensive trainings focused on stretching their limits. Some make it. Most don’t. But all have to go through that to realize their passions.

That is what passion is about. It is not about fun. It is not about what I can do to relax and have my personal time. We all need that. I believe it is good for anyone to take a leave of absence to truly recuperate from the rat race, but relax is not the end goal. It is the mean for the true end, the chance to be someone and do something.

Passion is about what you would do in the face of obstacles. What you are so interested in becoming, that you would overcome fear and challenges, and wage on in the face of adversity. Passion is about what you believe in - the universal truth that you found resonating with your soul, the one thing that you want to share with the rest of the world.

Passion is who you would be and what you would do when you are done just having fun.

Now - I define fun in the general sense of entertainment, i.e. we are our own boss and we get to do whatever we want. When you are passionate about something, the goal will envelope you, and your whole person would focus on achieving that goal. In a sense it becomes limiting, because in order to achieve that goal you would have to accept a set of rules, practices, and boundaries. But in another sense it is liberating, because you would realize your true potential and your calling. While the process might seem gruesome from outside in, the person going through is thoroughly enjoying it.

There is something about humans - we love a challenge, especially when we overcome it. And that is the true passion.

Hence - passion is who you would be and what you would do, when others cannot overcome, but you are having fun .

So - ask yourself the question - “who would I be and what would I do when I am done just having fun?”

Discovering your true self is the true fun